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Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Dear God,

Dear God,

Please help me from strangers who mean well, are good-intentioned, but
totally out of line.

Compassionate Guide, please help these people who think that I do not know
that I am over-weight and need their dieting advice, while standing in line at
the AM/PM. I just bite my tongue and quip innane remarks back to
them.

Heavenly Teacher, teach me to continue having patience with these misguided
children of yours. Do they really think that I do not look in the mirror every
day, struggle to fit into clothing that fit weeks/months ago, and hate the fact
that I continue to eat foods that are not right for me... while finding it more
and more difficult to actually get up off my fat butt and excecise because my
body is in pain?

Your Loving, yet larger than life child... Michelle


I write this because yesterday I was standing in line to buy my morning coffee and soda and the man in front of me turned and asked me if I had tea. What a simple question. I answered "No, I have coffee in this cup and soda in this one." The coffee was large and the soda was larger (64 oz.) I then got a lesson. He responded with "Did you know that 32 oz of soda a day is equal to 32 lbs of sugar?" I laughed at him and said "unless it is diet sode like mine is...!!!" He turned away as it was his turn at the register.

I hate people assuming because I am heavy that I have completely NO will-power. I actually started drinking diet soda about 5 years ago after realizing just how much sugar filled drinks I was consuming. While this has helped me with the carlories that I drink, it does not help me with the calories I eat.

This is a struggle that I work with daily, most days failing miserably. But.. seriously folks, I don't need complete strangers "helping" me. Please MYOB. If I want your suggestion, and strangers -I DON'T - I will ask for it!!!

In your loving arms.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You have some spiritual depth to Thank God for people who you would really rather not help you!!!!
That is a mighty powerful line.

Man I struggle with my weight issues as well. I want to lose 30 pounds. I hide my weight issues behind running and exercise. That is a smokescreen. However, this past couple of weeks there is something about a 7-11 brownie that has got to me.

But is not just a brownie, it moves to other things as well. I hop off the wagon and I eat poorly. Fast food and other stuff that is just miserable. Then I feel bad physically that makes me feel bad emotionally. Then I don't feel good about myself. So, I quit exercising and then I get depressed. It sucks.

On my good days, I know that 7-11 brownie that is awesome will not make me feel better so I drive by without a worry. On my bad days, i will go 2 miles out of the way.

I just hope to have more days where I can think about how I will feel after I get that 7-11 brownie instead of focusing on it. Because it is more than a brownie, I eat it because there is something wrong with my spirit, my soul, my emotions.

Do I have solution, no not really? Just try to focus on what it all means. It is not a brownie to me, it something empty in my soul that I am trying to comfort.

You, you can say thanks to God. Me, I would have thrown the cup on him. You are a better person than me. Thanks for letting me share that.

Fearless joy,
Guido