My son Charlie took this picture with my new cell phone... I had just arrived home from work, it was hot and he grabbed the phone and snapped this... so that explains the expression... argh... but I still like this pic anyways!
ME
ME
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Monday, July 24, 2006
Picture of me
My son Charlie took this picture with my new cell phone... I had just arrived home from work, it was hot and he grabbed the phone and snapped this... so that explains the expression... argh... but I still like this pic anyways!
Paul
This past week I was sent an email from a person who was quite an impact on my youth. I have not heard from this man since we graduated from high school in 1984 -- 22 years ago!
I first met Paul when I was in 5th grade. I had moved from South Sacramento to a whole new universe ... Fulton/Fair Oaks area. We moved mid-year from the place I had lived all my life, new everything -- school, house, way of life, and of course no life-long friends. I am a reserved person even to this day, and back then my reserved nature caused me to be thought of as a Bitch even then to these new people.
Most of these people had their own cliques formed, with life-long friends, and here I was -- newcomer -- with no social skills.
I had a rough 10 years to start out with... my mother's dying in a car accident where she was the only fatality, living with my broken father, the nanny/housekeeper to raised us for 3 years, my fathers marriage to my 3rd grade teacher, the step-child hating the step-mother, and a brother who was a royal pain the ass and the cutie that never did any wrong. I was a very grown up 10 year old, tall and well-read. I did not fit in with the new school, or the new classmates.
My step-mother would kick me out of the house because I would just stay in and do homework and read books, but would not get out of the house to socialize, so she would literally lock me out of the house.
I would then get on my bike an ride around the neighborhood for hours, or to the library where I would read for hours. One of my frequent bike rides was past the cutest boys house -- I was a stalker at 10! I would hope upon hope that he would be outside and I would be able to talk with him or just see him. This was Paul.
He was also the tallest boy in school, I was the tallest girl. We would joke about who was tallest each saying "I am tallest" (I really was though!) When I was sitting on the bench during recess at school Paul would always come over and talk with me, see what I was reading, asking how I was, actually being interested in me and my life. I remember one time when I was sitting there feeling sorry for myself, crying on the sidelines, and he came over to ask what was wrong. I told him about my mother dying, making it sound like she just had, so that he would be sympathetic. He was but then when he asked when this happened and I told him it was 5 years earlier, he basically told me it was time to snap out of it, which I needed to hear at that time. Pity party cancelled!
One of the most memoriable times was Valentines day, I think it was 6th grade. Paul brought a Valentine to my house and personally delivered it. I still have that Valentine. He was my hero. I had such a crush on Paul, which I don't think was reciprocated, but I was ok with that.
Even thru jr high and high school we still had that old connection, even tho we were in different cliques. He would stop and say hi how's it going... A very special person.
So, need-less-to-say, I was extremely happy to hear from him after all this time. I have searched on-line for any mention of him, hoping he was alive and well. I have expressed an interested in getting together to talk about life, catch up on 22 years of "stuff" ... I hope that we can retain that special friendship we had 30 years ago when we first met.
I first met Paul when I was in 5th grade. I had moved from South Sacramento to a whole new universe ... Fulton/Fair Oaks area. We moved mid-year from the place I had lived all my life, new everything -- school, house, way of life, and of course no life-long friends. I am a reserved person even to this day, and back then my reserved nature caused me to be thought of as a Bitch even then to these new people.
Most of these people had their own cliques formed, with life-long friends, and here I was -- newcomer -- with no social skills.
I had a rough 10 years to start out with... my mother's dying in a car accident where she was the only fatality, living with my broken father, the nanny/housekeeper to raised us for 3 years, my fathers marriage to my 3rd grade teacher, the step-child hating the step-mother, and a brother who was a royal pain the ass and the cutie that never did any wrong. I was a very grown up 10 year old, tall and well-read. I did not fit in with the new school, or the new classmates.
My step-mother would kick me out of the house because I would just stay in and do homework and read books, but would not get out of the house to socialize, so she would literally lock me out of the house.
I would then get on my bike an ride around the neighborhood for hours, or to the library where I would read for hours. One of my frequent bike rides was past the cutest boys house -- I was a stalker at 10! I would hope upon hope that he would be outside and I would be able to talk with him or just see him. This was Paul.
He was also the tallest boy in school, I was the tallest girl. We would joke about who was tallest each saying "I am tallest" (I really was though!) When I was sitting on the bench during recess at school Paul would always come over and talk with me, see what I was reading, asking how I was, actually being interested in me and my life. I remember one time when I was sitting there feeling sorry for myself, crying on the sidelines, and he came over to ask what was wrong. I told him about my mother dying, making it sound like she just had, so that he would be sympathetic. He was but then when he asked when this happened and I told him it was 5 years earlier, he basically told me it was time to snap out of it, which I needed to hear at that time. Pity party cancelled!
One of the most memoriable times was Valentines day, I think it was 6th grade. Paul brought a Valentine to my house and personally delivered it. I still have that Valentine. He was my hero. I had such a crush on Paul, which I don't think was reciprocated, but I was ok with that.
Even thru jr high and high school we still had that old connection, even tho we were in different cliques. He would stop and say hi how's it going... A very special person.
So, need-less-to-say, I was extremely happy to hear from him after all this time. I have searched on-line for any mention of him, hoping he was alive and well. I have expressed an interested in getting together to talk about life, catch up on 22 years of "stuff" ... I hope that we can retain that special friendship we had 30 years ago when we first met.
In Jesus' Loving Arms...
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Diet
I have started a diet. I have been overweight for the past 18 years or so, and ache in all my joints. I have tried losing weight in the past and never really have been too motivated, however this time I am. My brother and his lady have been doing the Atkins diet for a couple months, have lost weight, and love it but never really told me much about it. I just saw them not getting to eat some of my favorite foods (pasta, rice, bread, beans, tortillas) and thought that I would be miserable if I was to try that diet. And yuck to all the meat....
My supervisor Kelly then enthused about the Atkins diet and explained to my with gusto the things that help her keep to the diet and why it is ok to eat the way the diet suggests. She made it so positive and explained how I can still eat out and keep to the diet, because she knows that I eat out A LOT.
I started my diet the Thursday before Mother's Day 12 days ago and have been doing really good. My scale at home says that I have even lost 10 lbs!! I am so encouraged by the weight loss that I am going to try to stick to this because I have a lot more lbs that need to come off. When I weighed myself that Thursday evening my scale at home said 252. This morning it showed 243. I just can't believe that I have lost 10 lbs in such a short time, with very little exercise.
Now, I was sick all last week but I still ate a lot of food. I just didn't eat the foods I normally would have like quesadillas and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I ate a lot of tuna salad. I mean -- a lot of tuna salad. I had sometimes two cans of tuna a day. The other food I ate was meatballs. I get the already made, precooked kind from the store and just have to microwave them.
My son even took me out for Mother's Day lunch. We went to the Waffle Barn where I usually get an omelet that comes with country potatoes and a massive biscuit/gravy dish. I usually eat the whole thing! This time I ordered my eggs and asked them to hold the potatoes and biscuit/gravy and bring me cottage cheese instead. I was as full or at least satisfied when I ended my meal. I was most proud of the fact that I did not steal even one of Charlie's french fries. I usually eat 1/4 of them, sneaking them off his plate.
This past Saturday I went with Pastor Danny to a meeting in Oakland. I was a little worried about the lunch that was going to be provided. Eating out is hard but eating out when someone else is providing the fare and no other options looked daunting. I was very happy when they brought out the food and it was sandwich fixings. I ate ham and cheese, no bread, no chips .. some salad with a little Italian dressing.. and there was this wonderful tuna salad. It was made with tuna, cream cheese and chopped olives... Hecka Yummy in my Tummy!!
I also got a lot of exercise on Saturday. Danny and I took the train to Richmond, then BART to Oakland 19th street. The meeting was a few blocks east (?) of 29th street. So, we walked to the church the meeting was at. I figure it was a bit more than a mile. Danny asked before we left if I would like to hitch a ride with someone to the BART station, because he knew that the walk there was a little tough for me (I was sweating profusely and huffing/puffing)... I let him know that I was up to the walk back. Knowing that I have to get the exercise in and that we had a couple hours of train ride ahead of us, it felt good to walk in the sunshine for a while.
Last night was Monday. Dad and I usually go to a restaurant that has $4 Spaghetti Dinner.. comes with salad and a huge roll. I missed going, it is just a nice "tradition" .. but I had a bowl of egg salad and some fajita spiced chicken and was satisfied.
I am determined to do this... Oh, did I mention my work is having a Biggest Loser contest? We have one month before the weigh-in. I want to be the Winner. We all put in $10 and the winner will get the jackpot. There are over 25 people trying for the purse... So, please keep your fingers crossed and pray for me.
My supervisor Kelly then enthused about the Atkins diet and explained to my with gusto the things that help her keep to the diet and why it is ok to eat the way the diet suggests. She made it so positive and explained how I can still eat out and keep to the diet, because she knows that I eat out A LOT.
I started my diet the Thursday before Mother's Day 12 days ago and have been doing really good. My scale at home says that I have even lost 10 lbs!! I am so encouraged by the weight loss that I am going to try to stick to this because I have a lot more lbs that need to come off. When I weighed myself that Thursday evening my scale at home said 252. This morning it showed 243. I just can't believe that I have lost 10 lbs in such a short time, with very little exercise.
Now, I was sick all last week but I still ate a lot of food. I just didn't eat the foods I normally would have like quesadillas and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I ate a lot of tuna salad. I mean -- a lot of tuna salad. I had sometimes two cans of tuna a day. The other food I ate was meatballs. I get the already made, precooked kind from the store and just have to microwave them.
My son even took me out for Mother's Day lunch. We went to the Waffle Barn where I usually get an omelet that comes with country potatoes and a massive biscuit/gravy dish. I usually eat the whole thing! This time I ordered my eggs and asked them to hold the potatoes and biscuit/gravy and bring me cottage cheese instead. I was as full or at least satisfied when I ended my meal. I was most proud of the fact that I did not steal even one of Charlie's french fries. I usually eat 1/4 of them, sneaking them off his plate.
This past Saturday I went with Pastor Danny to a meeting in Oakland. I was a little worried about the lunch that was going to be provided. Eating out is hard but eating out when someone else is providing the fare and no other options looked daunting. I was very happy when they brought out the food and it was sandwich fixings. I ate ham and cheese, no bread, no chips .. some salad with a little Italian dressing.. and there was this wonderful tuna salad. It was made with tuna, cream cheese and chopped olives... Hecka Yummy in my Tummy!!
I also got a lot of exercise on Saturday. Danny and I took the train to Richmond, then BART to Oakland 19th street. The meeting was a few blocks east (?) of 29th street. So, we walked to the church the meeting was at. I figure it was a bit more than a mile. Danny asked before we left if I would like to hitch a ride with someone to the BART station, because he knew that the walk there was a little tough for me (I was sweating profusely and huffing/puffing)... I let him know that I was up to the walk back. Knowing that I have to get the exercise in and that we had a couple hours of train ride ahead of us, it felt good to walk in the sunshine for a while.
Last night was Monday. Dad and I usually go to a restaurant that has $4 Spaghetti Dinner.. comes with salad and a huge roll. I missed going, it is just a nice "tradition" .. but I had a bowl of egg salad and some fajita spiced chicken and was satisfied.
I am determined to do this... Oh, did I mention my work is having a Biggest Loser contest? We have one month before the weigh-in. I want to be the Winner. We all put in $10 and the winner will get the jackpot. There are over 25 people trying for the purse... So, please keep your fingers crossed and pray for me.
In Jesus' Loving Arms
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Power Trip Part 2
You know, since I posted the last blog I have been thinking it over a lot. In so many ways I am much like Charlie is... stubborn, hard headed, quick to anger, quick to feel sorry for myself, opinionated.. aren't we all ?? and where do I think he gets it from? where do I get it from? probably from my dad?
Anyways, I was thinking about when I told Charlie to get out of the car, and call his dad to come and get him; that I was having none of the game playing. I pictured myself then as Charlie, and God as me. Thought about God telling me to get out of the car, stop the bs and to call my dad to come and get me (dad of course being GOD!)
I am not talking death or anything, just that sometimes I need my GOD/DAD to help me thru things, to guide me on the right path.. here i look and see i wrote "sometimes" rather than "ALWAYS" .. lol ... I just have a hard time letting GOD/DAD be part of my life -- ALL THE TIME.
I have really been struggling with letting God be a part of my life lately. I have been very tempted to just chuck it all, stop going to church, stop going to bible studies, stop going to regional church events, stop going to bunko, and just letting "the dark side" take over - letting Satan have control sometimes is the easy answer. I know that it is Satan tugging on my hand, whispering in my ear to let go of God, to give into the depression, to give into food/weight issues, to give into bad relationships, to give into a bad life.
I have made a every effort to not let go of God. I force myself to wake up on Sunday determined to go to church and hear God's message for me that day. I force myself to read Bible passages that can help me. I force myself to think positive thoughts. I force myself to take my medication. I force myself to go to functions that involve PEOPLE. I force myself to live each and every day, and it is a stuggle each and every day... but I will not let myself give up.
For this I give thanks to God and to his letting Jesus be my right hand man, and for giving the Holy Spirit to me to be present in my heart and my head.
Praise be to God.
Anyways, I was thinking about when I told Charlie to get out of the car, and call his dad to come and get him; that I was having none of the game playing. I pictured myself then as Charlie, and God as me. Thought about God telling me to get out of the car, stop the bs and to call my dad to come and get me (dad of course being GOD!)
I am not talking death or anything, just that sometimes I need my GOD/DAD to help me thru things, to guide me on the right path.. here i look and see i wrote "sometimes" rather than "ALWAYS" .. lol ... I just have a hard time letting GOD/DAD be part of my life -- ALL THE TIME.
I have really been struggling with letting God be a part of my life lately. I have been very tempted to just chuck it all, stop going to church, stop going to bible studies, stop going to regional church events, stop going to bunko, and just letting "the dark side" take over - letting Satan have control sometimes is the easy answer. I know that it is Satan tugging on my hand, whispering in my ear to let go of God, to give into the depression, to give into food/weight issues, to give into bad relationships, to give into a bad life.
I have made a every effort to not let go of God. I force myself to wake up on Sunday determined to go to church and hear God's message for me that day. I force myself to read Bible passages that can help me. I force myself to think positive thoughts. I force myself to take my medication. I force myself to go to functions that involve PEOPLE. I force myself to live each and every day, and it is a stuggle each and every day... but I will not let myself give up.
For this I give thanks to God and to his letting Jesus be my right hand man, and for giving the Holy Spirit to me to be present in my heart and my head.
Praise be to God.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Power Trip
This past weekend my son Charlie and I went to our church regional annual meeting in lovely Pacific Grove. This is a four hour (approx) drive from home with the various pit stops along the way. I am not a good driver, tending to fall asleep on even short drives, so I was not looking forward to the drive in the first place, but with no alternative what is one to do???
SO, with that being said, we were about 1 hr into the drive and just between Vacaville and Fairfield on highway 80... Charlie had been pretty good so far (he is 15) and we were listening to the radio. The Manfred Mann song "Blinded by the Light" came on, and that is one of my favorites, so I turned the radio up louder than it was. While the song music started Charlie said the first few words of the song, then exclaimed "I cant believe I knew that"... I nodded my head indicating that I heard him and keeps singing along.
Char then asked me to turn down the radio because he had something he wanted to say. This is a pattern of ours, a good song is on and he wants to talk. I kept singing, and motioned with my hand a sort of "later" motion. He kept insisting that I turn down the radio... so after a few moments I did turn the radio down and said in an exasperated manner "WHAT???" He got upset and clammed up and didnt say a word other than "nevermind"... well mind you that pissed me off, and HOW!! This is his little power trip, and I immediately got anger. Not just a little anger, but a total rage (not a good thing while driving). I glanced quickly in the rear-view mirror and pulled over to the side of the road, trying to be safe (I have been in an accident before doing this)... and yelling at Charlie to "get the **** out of the car -- NOW" ..
I have had it with this "game" of him wanting to say something and if I don't respond immediately he clams up and then is pissed at me. So, as I said, I was fuming, raging, pissed off, instantaneously. He would not get out of the car and I kept telling him to do so, and told him he can call his Dad on the cell phone and have him come and pick Char up on the side of the road if need be. Charlie still did not move, nor talk. I told him I just don't understand why he wants to say something then doesnt say it. It is not just a little thing with him, it is CONSTANTLY, and I am just fed up. I told him that I wanted this to be a good weekend and that I will have no tolerance for this game and that he needs to figure out right then and there if he will behave. He nodded YES, then I sat there for about 10 mins with the car off, trying to calm down my temper.
We got going again and I had turned the radio off, during which time Char did not talk at all. Not one word. Total Silence... Sigh... so then when we were just past Concord I decided to turn on the radio again. Not more than 5 seconds into the song Charlie started talking. This is what I mean by it being a game to him. He doesnt even realize it. I just had to start laughing.
I still don't understand him, I don't know if I ever will.
I think that is what God may say about me most of the time too... "I just don't understand that Michelle... what is she doing now!?!"
SO, with that being said, we were about 1 hr into the drive and just between Vacaville and Fairfield on highway 80... Charlie had been pretty good so far (he is 15) and we were listening to the radio. The Manfred Mann song "Blinded by the Light" came on, and that is one of my favorites, so I turned the radio up louder than it was. While the song music started Charlie said the first few words of the song, then exclaimed "I cant believe I knew that"... I nodded my head indicating that I heard him and keeps singing along.
Char then asked me to turn down the radio because he had something he wanted to say. This is a pattern of ours, a good song is on and he wants to talk. I kept singing, and motioned with my hand a sort of "later" motion. He kept insisting that I turn down the radio... so after a few moments I did turn the radio down and said in an exasperated manner "WHAT???" He got upset and clammed up and didnt say a word other than "nevermind"... well mind you that pissed me off, and HOW!! This is his little power trip, and I immediately got anger. Not just a little anger, but a total rage (not a good thing while driving). I glanced quickly in the rear-view mirror and pulled over to the side of the road, trying to be safe (I have been in an accident before doing this)... and yelling at Charlie to "get the **** out of the car -- NOW" ..
I have had it with this "game" of him wanting to say something and if I don't respond immediately he clams up and then is pissed at me. So, as I said, I was fuming, raging, pissed off, instantaneously. He would not get out of the car and I kept telling him to do so, and told him he can call his Dad on the cell phone and have him come and pick Char up on the side of the road if need be. Charlie still did not move, nor talk. I told him I just don't understand why he wants to say something then doesnt say it. It is not just a little thing with him, it is CONSTANTLY, and I am just fed up. I told him that I wanted this to be a good weekend and that I will have no tolerance for this game and that he needs to figure out right then and there if he will behave. He nodded YES, then I sat there for about 10 mins with the car off, trying to calm down my temper.
We got going again and I had turned the radio off, during which time Char did not talk at all. Not one word. Total Silence... Sigh... so then when we were just past Concord I decided to turn on the radio again. Not more than 5 seconds into the song Charlie started talking. This is what I mean by it being a game to him. He doesnt even realize it. I just had to start laughing.
I still don't understand him, I don't know if I ever will.
I think that is what God may say about me most of the time too... "I just don't understand that Michelle... what is she doing now!?!"
In Jesus' Loving Arms
Thursday, April 20, 2006
How is my Inner Child?
| Your Inner Child Is Sad |
 |
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Dear God,
Dear God,
Please help me from strangers who mean well, are good-intentioned, but
totally out of line.
Compassionate Guide, please help these people who think that I do not know
that I am over-weight and need their dieting advice, while standing in line at
the AM/PM. I just bite my tongue and quip innane remarks back to
them.
Heavenly Teacher, teach me to continue having patience with these misguided
children of yours. Do they really think that I do not look in the mirror every
day, struggle to fit into clothing that fit weeks/months ago, and hate the fact
that I continue to eat foods that are not right for me... while finding it more
and more difficult to actually get up off my fat butt and excecise because my
body is in pain?
Your Loving, yet larger than life child... Michelle
I write this because yesterday I was standing in line to buy my morning coffee and soda and the man in front of me turned and asked me if I had tea. What a simple question. I answered "No, I have coffee in this cup and soda in this one." The coffee was large and the soda was larger (64 oz.) I then got a lesson. He responded with "Did you know that 32 oz of soda a day is equal to 32 lbs of sugar?" I laughed at him and said "unless it is diet sode like mine is...!!!" He turned away as it was his turn at the register.
I hate people assuming because I am heavy that I have completely NO will-power. I actually started drinking diet soda about 5 years ago after realizing just how much sugar filled drinks I was consuming. While this has helped me with the carlories that I drink, it does not help me with the calories I eat.
This is a struggle that I work with daily, most days failing miserably. But.. seriously folks, I don't need complete strangers "helping" me. Please MYOB. If I want your suggestion, and strangers -I DON'T - I will ask for it!!!
Please help me from strangers who mean well, are good-intentioned, but
totally out of line.
Compassionate Guide, please help these people who think that I do not know
that I am over-weight and need their dieting advice, while standing in line at
the AM/PM. I just bite my tongue and quip innane remarks back to
them.
Heavenly Teacher, teach me to continue having patience with these misguided
children of yours. Do they really think that I do not look in the mirror every
day, struggle to fit into clothing that fit weeks/months ago, and hate the fact
that I continue to eat foods that are not right for me... while finding it more
and more difficult to actually get up off my fat butt and excecise because my
body is in pain?
Your Loving, yet larger than life child... Michelle
I write this because yesterday I was standing in line to buy my morning coffee and soda and the man in front of me turned and asked me if I had tea. What a simple question. I answered "No, I have coffee in this cup and soda in this one." The coffee was large and the soda was larger (64 oz.) I then got a lesson. He responded with "Did you know that 32 oz of soda a day is equal to 32 lbs of sugar?" I laughed at him and said "unless it is diet sode like mine is...!!!" He turned away as it was his turn at the register.
I hate people assuming because I am heavy that I have completely NO will-power. I actually started drinking diet soda about 5 years ago after realizing just how much sugar filled drinks I was consuming. While this has helped me with the carlories that I drink, it does not help me with the calories I eat.
This is a struggle that I work with daily, most days failing miserably. But.. seriously folks, I don't need complete strangers "helping" me. Please MYOB. If I want your suggestion, and strangers -I DON'T - I will ask for it!!!
In your loving arms.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Playing Hooky
This past weekend I went to Gathering of Women in Selma, CA. This is about a 3.5 hr drive from my work and I was lucky enough to get a ride with one of the women from the Woodland church. She drove the whole way there and back, and I was very grateful. I tend to fall asleep when I drive even short distances.
The weather was miserable on the way south, pouring rain, lightening, thunder -- plus Friday afternoon traffice. We left Sac at 4pm and made only one stop for quick dinner at In&Out, making it to Selma around 830p.
The Gathering was wonderful and I am so happy that I was able to go. The church it was held at was an awesome church. I love seeing the different styles of all the different churches around.
The weather on the way home was absolutely perfect, fluffy clouds in the blue sky. Traffic was minimal. We made it home before dark, and we left Selma at 330p.
However..... I was still exhausted. Travelling drains me. I was in bed Saturday night around 10pm, and when I went to bed I really truely did plan to go to church Sunday morning. I was suppose to lead the service, as our pastor was out of town for a wedding and I was suppose to help the visiting pastor and intro the songs, and do the joys/concerns, etc....
I woke up around 9am and went back to sleep "just for a little while" but when I woke up it was 1130 already! Church starts at 1030 so I was a little late... and so I went back to sleep. I knew that our church members would step up to the plate and handle it. Actually, I knew that my dad was already scheduled to be Elder and that he would probably be the one doing the job. (I was right.)
Dad got home after church and I was just getting out of the shower, but I was still exhausted. Dad later told me that he was really worried because I rarely miss church, especially when I am scheduled to do something. He said that he checked in on me a few times before he left for work and that I had not moved from my sleeping postion, and that when I did not show up for church he was then wondering if I was dead in bed or ???
I had to apologize to him and next week I will be apologizing to my church also... Plus, darn it, the sermon was one that I wish I had not missed, after I heard about it.
The weather was miserable on the way south, pouring rain, lightening, thunder -- plus Friday afternoon traffice. We left Sac at 4pm and made only one stop for quick dinner at In&Out, making it to Selma around 830p.
The Gathering was wonderful and I am so happy that I was able to go. The church it was held at was an awesome church. I love seeing the different styles of all the different churches around.
The weather on the way home was absolutely perfect, fluffy clouds in the blue sky. Traffic was minimal. We made it home before dark, and we left Selma at 330p.
However..... I was still exhausted. Travelling drains me. I was in bed Saturday night around 10pm, and when I went to bed I really truely did plan to go to church Sunday morning. I was suppose to lead the service, as our pastor was out of town for a wedding and I was suppose to help the visiting pastor and intro the songs, and do the joys/concerns, etc....
I woke up around 9am and went back to sleep "just for a little while" but when I woke up it was 1130 already! Church starts at 1030 so I was a little late... and so I went back to sleep. I knew that our church members would step up to the plate and handle it. Actually, I knew that my dad was already scheduled to be Elder and that he would probably be the one doing the job. (I was right.)
Dad got home after church and I was just getting out of the shower, but I was still exhausted. Dad later told me that he was really worried because I rarely miss church, especially when I am scheduled to do something. He said that he checked in on me a few times before he left for work and that I had not moved from my sleeping postion, and that when I did not show up for church he was then wondering if I was dead in bed or ???
I had to apologize to him and next week I will be apologizing to my church also... Plus, darn it, the sermon was one that I wish I had not missed, after I heard about it.
In His Loving Arms
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Children's Moment About "Stuff"
Well, the move is over!!! ~whew~ I actually had another dump run, and a full truck load that went to Goodwill before it was all over and done. But... it.. is.. done...!!! This was the first time that I have had to do the bulk of the packing, and organizing, and throwing stuff out. I was emotionally and physically drained, and after the close of the sale of the house, when I was all moved into my Dad's house, I had to take a day off work just to sleep and re-charge.
Ok, enough said about that -- on to my Children's Moment about "Stuff."
I told the children that I had just move and had to get rid of a lot of stuff. I asked them if they had a lot of stuff in their rooms. A coupld of them said yes and a couple said no. I asked them what kind of stuff they had. They said clothing, toys, books.
I then asked them if they needed all the stuff they had. They all said yes of course. I responded with "you really don't need all of it, but I am sure that you want it and like it" which did not really go over very well.
My next question was if they thought Jesus had a lot of stuff. A couple of the kids shrugged, but the pastor's son responded "nope, because he didn't even have a house... well, he has a house but he was never there." This boy is 8 by the way. So I asked the kids what they thought Jesus did have that he kept with him. A couple of the responses were clothing and shoes.
They were pretty good at getting the point that Jesus did not have anything, because he was always walking from one city to another in order to tell the word of God. That he didn't have much because what he had he had to carry with him, so basically only had the one outfit and maybe one pair of sandals, and nothing else. I asked what Jesus did when his clothing got smelly, and what did he do about food and sleeping. The preachers son again answered.. saying "Well, when he got dirty he would just wash his clothes in the river when he was taking a bath, and he lived in a tent like about the size of the entry over there (pointing to our tiny church entry)." I then pointed out that Jesus also had to rely on other people for his food and water, and even shelter a lot of the time.
Then again I asked them if they really needed all the stuff they had at home. Most of them shook their heads indicating nope they didn't. "So, then why do we have so much stuff that is so hard to get rid of, if Jesus didn't need it all to get by?" Again, the pastor's son, stating the obvious: "WELL, they didn't have things back then like TV's and video games, and movies, so he didn't need to have them like we do."
That was the lesson...
Ok, enough said about that -- on to my Children's Moment about "Stuff."
I told the children that I had just move and had to get rid of a lot of stuff. I asked them if they had a lot of stuff in their rooms. A coupld of them said yes and a couple said no. I asked them what kind of stuff they had. They said clothing, toys, books.
I then asked them if they needed all the stuff they had. They all said yes of course. I responded with "you really don't need all of it, but I am sure that you want it and like it" which did not really go over very well.
My next question was if they thought Jesus had a lot of stuff. A couple of the kids shrugged, but the pastor's son responded "nope, because he didn't even have a house... well, he has a house but he was never there." This boy is 8 by the way. So I asked the kids what they thought Jesus did have that he kept with him. A couple of the responses were clothing and shoes.
They were pretty good at getting the point that Jesus did not have anything, because he was always walking from one city to another in order to tell the word of God. That he didn't have much because what he had he had to carry with him, so basically only had the one outfit and maybe one pair of sandals, and nothing else. I asked what Jesus did when his clothing got smelly, and what did he do about food and sleeping. The preachers son again answered.. saying "Well, when he got dirty he would just wash his clothes in the river when he was taking a bath, and he lived in a tent like about the size of the entry over there (pointing to our tiny church entry)." I then pointed out that Jesus also had to rely on other people for his food and water, and even shelter a lot of the time.
Then again I asked them if they really needed all the stuff they had at home. Most of them shook their heads indicating nope they didn't. "So, then why do we have so much stuff that is so hard to get rid of, if Jesus didn't need it all to get by?" Again, the pastor's son, stating the obvious: "WELL, they didn't have things back then like TV's and video games, and movies, so he didn't need to have them like we do."
That was the lesson...
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
The Little Engine that Could... I think I Can...
Well, final moving day is almost here. Six days from today I have to be moved out of my house... I don't know how I am going to find the time or energy to do it all. We are signing the papers tomorrow, and the title company officer said that everything will be done by Tuesday.
My house looks like a hurricane came thru. I have stuff half packed here and there and literally EVERY WHERE!! I have mentioned that I am a pack rat and that is so darn true. I have been going thru the shed which was packed to the rafters (I think it does have rafters) with "stuff".. much of this has been sitting around not looked at or thought of in the 2 1/2 years I have lived here. A couple weeks ago we took two truck loads of garbage (literal and figurative) to the dump. Those two loads both equaled 1900 lbs. My friends I have done the math and that is almost 2 tons of crap. It does not end there either.
The next week we took another load of stuff to the dump. Now a lot of that load was metal which we got to dump for free, and so therefore were not required to weight before going in. We took the load in to the metal dumping area and got rid of it then had to go back thru the scales, weighing in the actual "garbage"... another 540 lbs. Again, it does not end there.
Much of the furniture that I have downstairs will also be going to the dump: chair, couch, end table, coffee table. Also, the empty cardboard boxes that use to hold most of the stuff from the first two dump loads must go... as well as whatever else I find that I do not need and that can't be recycled thru Goodwill/Salvation Army.
Speaking of which, I have probably a full truck bed load that will go to GW/SA. Mostly books.. I have a lot of books... at least four large boxes of books which I have reluctantly talked myself into giving away. I talked myself into keeping the Left Behind series after they were already in the give away pile. I am resolved to get rid of most of my Lawrence Sanders, Stephen King, Patricia Cornwell, James Patterson books... I have read them and they were great, but I will probalby never read them again. I have tossed my son's baby books, most were in a box on the bottom of the pile in the shed for the last two years, and there is a bit of weather damage to them.. so no reason to keep. I did filter out those books which were given to him by grandma or grandpa, etc. I tossed the Little House on the Prairie books I bought before I knew if he was going to be a boy or a girl, the Narnia Chronicles, the Hardy Boys... my son you see does not like to read. He does not share my PASSION for the written fictional word, so he will not miss them, but I will. Sob, Breath, Sigh... release, let go and let GOD, and let someone else enjoy them!
I have bags and bags of clothing that I have wisely decided to part ways with also. The size 14-16 dresses, jeans, shirts... the tie-dye outfit I love, sundresses, suits, skirts... items I bought in my smaller days, my dreaming of smaller days, and those that were given to me by others going thru weight loss/gains... Some of these items I have had packed up for more than 2 years also. Why keep them?? I don't know but it is time to "clean out my closets" and "trim down" ...
Last night my dad and brother came over to help move some of the large furniture that I am taking with me -- dresser, desk, computer, my mom's sewing machine. We are going to take a load each night this week and I should hopefully have it all done in time, with enough time left over to clean. I really hate cleaning too!
Tonight I think I am going to have them move the freezer outside so that it can defrost in time to move it to storage. Luckily we have been having mid-60 degree temps (unluckily the mosquitoes like it also) and I should not have to use a heater. Then we are going to load up the truck with the furniture for the dump. Yes to the dump and not GW/SA, because I have a dog and a cat, both who LOVE furniture, scratching and sleeping on.. and both were hand-me-downs when I got them.
I hope that I can get as much done as possible before this weekend because I have a great women's retreat on Saturday that I have paid for and been looking forward to for the longest time. Sunday I have church and then afterwards a luncheon to attend at Ruthy's... so, I will be doing the Hustle !! Smiles, :0)
Anyways, I must go and pick Charlie up from school so we can get home and get busy.
My house looks like a hurricane came thru. I have stuff half packed here and there and literally EVERY WHERE!! I have mentioned that I am a pack rat and that is so darn true. I have been going thru the shed which was packed to the rafters (I think it does have rafters) with "stuff".. much of this has been sitting around not looked at or thought of in the 2 1/2 years I have lived here. A couple weeks ago we took two truck loads of garbage (literal and figurative) to the dump. Those two loads both equaled 1900 lbs. My friends I have done the math and that is almost 2 tons of crap. It does not end there either.
The next week we took another load of stuff to the dump. Now a lot of that load was metal which we got to dump for free, and so therefore were not required to weight before going in. We took the load in to the metal dumping area and got rid of it then had to go back thru the scales, weighing in the actual "garbage"... another 540 lbs. Again, it does not end there.
Much of the furniture that I have downstairs will also be going to the dump: chair, couch, end table, coffee table. Also, the empty cardboard boxes that use to hold most of the stuff from the first two dump loads must go... as well as whatever else I find that I do not need and that can't be recycled thru Goodwill/Salvation Army.
Speaking of which, I have probably a full truck bed load that will go to GW/SA. Mostly books.. I have a lot of books... at least four large boxes of books which I have reluctantly talked myself into giving away. I talked myself into keeping the Left Behind series after they were already in the give away pile. I am resolved to get rid of most of my Lawrence Sanders, Stephen King, Patricia Cornwell, James Patterson books... I have read them and they were great, but I will probalby never read them again. I have tossed my son's baby books, most were in a box on the bottom of the pile in the shed for the last two years, and there is a bit of weather damage to them.. so no reason to keep. I did filter out those books which were given to him by grandma or grandpa, etc. I tossed the Little House on the Prairie books I bought before I knew if he was going to be a boy or a girl, the Narnia Chronicles, the Hardy Boys... my son you see does not like to read. He does not share my PASSION for the written fictional word, so he will not miss them, but I will. Sob, Breath, Sigh... release, let go and let GOD, and let someone else enjoy them!
I have bags and bags of clothing that I have wisely decided to part ways with also. The size 14-16 dresses, jeans, shirts... the tie-dye outfit I love, sundresses, suits, skirts... items I bought in my smaller days, my dreaming of smaller days, and those that were given to me by others going thru weight loss/gains... Some of these items I have had packed up for more than 2 years also. Why keep them?? I don't know but it is time to "clean out my closets" and "trim down" ...
Last night my dad and brother came over to help move some of the large furniture that I am taking with me -- dresser, desk, computer, my mom's sewing machine. We are going to take a load each night this week and I should hopefully have it all done in time, with enough time left over to clean. I really hate cleaning too!
Tonight I think I am going to have them move the freezer outside so that it can defrost in time to move it to storage. Luckily we have been having mid-60 degree temps (unluckily the mosquitoes like it also) and I should not have to use a heater. Then we are going to load up the truck with the furniture for the dump. Yes to the dump and not GW/SA, because I have a dog and a cat, both who LOVE furniture, scratching and sleeping on.. and both were hand-me-downs when I got them.
I hope that I can get as much done as possible before this weekend because I have a great women's retreat on Saturday that I have paid for and been looking forward to for the longest time. Sunday I have church and then afterwards a luncheon to attend at Ruthy's... so, I will be doing the Hustle !! Smiles, :0)
Anyways, I must go and pick Charlie up from school so we can get home and get busy.
As always, In His Loving Arms...
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Pack up and Ship out
It's time to get serious and start packing the house. I bought, yes bought, moving boxes to put things into. I have used one so far for part of my book shelf. The others are where they were put as I walked into the house. The cat thinks they are fun, to hide behind and to use as a scratching post! Have I mentioned that I hate to pack almost as much as I hate to move? Well, I do. But .. darn it.. I have to do it again.
This coming Saturday we will be cleaning out the shed and the area surrounding the shed of its clutter. I have been told it will take about three trips to the dump to haul it all away. Hopefully the good weather will continue and it will be dry enough to do this without getting covered in mud. Before Saturday though I really ought to go thru all my "stuff" and get things sorted so that I can make the best use of the dump runs. I am determined to go thru boxes of "stuff" that are stored in the shed, and get rid of "stuff" that has not seen the light of day for 10+ years. It is going to be very hard for me to do this.
I am an OCD packrat of the worst sort. Getting rid of things is like pulling my legs out of the hip socket.. very very painful. Some wise person said that you cant take it with you... and Jesus asked his disciples to leave all their "stuff" behind to follow him... I am going to try to make Him proud of me.
There are, of course, some things that I will not be able to part with. One of those will be my set of china, which is used once a year, if it is lucky. I have the Old Country Roses pattern which I love. I am also going to keep the ancient waffle maker that weighs about 20 lbs, and the turtle cookie-jar that we found at the flea market.. it is the same as the one that I had when I was a kid.
Let's face it though, I can get rid of the Harlequin paperbacks, and even some of my hardback books that I will never read again. I don't know if I have ever read some of them, but darn it, they look real nice on the book shelf. And those JC PENNEY catalogues, and pizza coupons, and Oriental Trade flyers that come in the mail every week... do I really need them back to pre-2000? NAH! throw them OUT!!!
What about the set of maraca's that Dad brought home after one of his vacations to Mexico? Or the brass cats that I got from my sister-in-law Sue? Or the cheesy flower prints that I got from a yard-sale that fit great in the bathroom at the house I lived in two address's ago? (actually those may go bye bye)
The "stuff" we all have is "stuff" that we either got from someone and so it holds a special place in our hearts... or we picked it up for a song because we liked it... or we paid a large sum because we just had to have it could not live without it. Everything is in my possession for one reason or another, but some of it has lost its meaning and is just taking up space, so why keep it? It is still hard even with sound reasoning to let go.
Reminding me of the great 12-step mantra: Let Go and Let God!
It's just "stuff" and new "stuff" will take its place soon I am sure.
This coming Saturday we will be cleaning out the shed and the area surrounding the shed of its clutter. I have been told it will take about three trips to the dump to haul it all away. Hopefully the good weather will continue and it will be dry enough to do this without getting covered in mud. Before Saturday though I really ought to go thru all my "stuff" and get things sorted so that I can make the best use of the dump runs. I am determined to go thru boxes of "stuff" that are stored in the shed, and get rid of "stuff" that has not seen the light of day for 10+ years. It is going to be very hard for me to do this.
I am an OCD packrat of the worst sort. Getting rid of things is like pulling my legs out of the hip socket.. very very painful. Some wise person said that you cant take it with you... and Jesus asked his disciples to leave all their "stuff" behind to follow him... I am going to try to make Him proud of me.
There are, of course, some things that I will not be able to part with. One of those will be my set of china, which is used once a year, if it is lucky. I have the Old Country Roses pattern which I love. I am also going to keep the ancient waffle maker that weighs about 20 lbs, and the turtle cookie-jar that we found at the flea market.. it is the same as the one that I had when I was a kid.
Let's face it though, I can get rid of the Harlequin paperbacks, and even some of my hardback books that I will never read again. I don't know if I have ever read some of them, but darn it, they look real nice on the book shelf. And those JC PENNEY catalogues, and pizza coupons, and Oriental Trade flyers that come in the mail every week... do I really need them back to pre-2000? NAH! throw them OUT!!!
What about the set of maraca's that Dad brought home after one of his vacations to Mexico? Or the brass cats that I got from my sister-in-law Sue? Or the cheesy flower prints that I got from a yard-sale that fit great in the bathroom at the house I lived in two address's ago? (actually those may go bye bye)
The "stuff" we all have is "stuff" that we either got from someone and so it holds a special place in our hearts... or we picked it up for a song because we liked it... or we paid a large sum because we just had to have it could not live without it. Everything is in my possession for one reason or another, but some of it has lost its meaning and is just taking up space, so why keep it? It is still hard even with sound reasoning to let go.
Reminding me of the great 12-step mantra: Let Go and Let God!
It's just "stuff" and new "stuff" will take its place soon I am sure.
In His Loving Uncluttered Arms...
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Time .... is not on my side..
I don't know if I have mentioned it before, but I am a member of my regions Women's Ministry Council. I am responsible for upkeep of a website, which I am finding quite hard to do for a few different reasons. You may be asking : "You have time to blog, so why not to update the site?"
Well, thanks for asking!!! Blogging takes very little time, just a thought and speedy fingers. Updating the site requires sometimes hours to get things to look just right. I know I have mentioned before the lack of phone service at home, because I owe money and until I get it paid off it is just how it is. So, without phone service I have no internet service from home.
I keep hoping for a phone call at work asking me if I want to go home on e-time... excused, unpaid time off... when we are slow. I rarely get this call because there are so many other reps who start work earlier than I do so therefore get called before me. If I had a couple hours to devote to the website then I could update it in the time between getting off work and picking up my son, Charlie, from school.
I use the computers at work when I am able to. I could also use my dad's computer however his computer is one so ancient that it hardly runs at all much less allows me to do anything at a rate of speed close to tortoise-speed. I have tried to use other people's computers, but some people do not like to have you touch their equipment, fearing that you are a bumpkin who will break it into tiny little pieces, so I don't ask those folks to help me out anymore. Sigh, Sigh, Sigh...
This too shall pass.... while being held...
Well, thanks for asking!!! Blogging takes very little time, just a thought and speedy fingers. Updating the site requires sometimes hours to get things to look just right. I know I have mentioned before the lack of phone service at home, because I owe money and until I get it paid off it is just how it is. So, without phone service I have no internet service from home.
I keep hoping for a phone call at work asking me if I want to go home on e-time... excused, unpaid time off... when we are slow. I rarely get this call because there are so many other reps who start work earlier than I do so therefore get called before me. If I had a couple hours to devote to the website then I could update it in the time between getting off work and picking up my son, Charlie, from school.
I use the computers at work when I am able to. I could also use my dad's computer however his computer is one so ancient that it hardly runs at all much less allows me to do anything at a rate of speed close to tortoise-speed. I have tried to use other people's computers, but some people do not like to have you touch their equipment, fearing that you are a bumpkin who will break it into tiny little pieces, so I don't ask those folks to help me out anymore. Sigh, Sigh, Sigh...
This too shall pass.... while being held...
In His Loving Arms
Friday, December 30, 2005
Just a comment...
Just a comment...
Why this morning was I confronted, when driving down the freeway at only 70 mph, and got behind someone who is driving slower, with noone in front of them, does the said other driver not pull over at a convenient time into the slow lane and allow me to pass????
Why when the person (don't know if male or female) finally did get into the slow lane (at a signal on the highway), then decided to get back into the fast lane, did I let him/her????
Then the person got back into the slow lane and proceeded to then go faster as I tried to pass him/her not allowing me to pass??
I hate people like this and I really don't think it was intentional, because there have been times when I have unknowingly done the same thing.
It was very unnerving and frustrating for me. Anyways, just had to get that off my chest. Thanks.
Why this morning was I confronted, when driving down the freeway at only 70 mph, and got behind someone who is driving slower, with noone in front of them, does the said other driver not pull over at a convenient time into the slow lane and allow me to pass????
Why when the person (don't know if male or female) finally did get into the slow lane (at a signal on the highway), then decided to get back into the fast lane, did I let him/her????
Then the person got back into the slow lane and proceeded to then go faster as I tried to pass him/her not allowing me to pass??
I hate people like this and I really don't think it was intentional, because there have been times when I have unknowingly done the same thing.
It was very unnerving and frustrating for me. Anyways, just had to get that off my chest. Thanks.
In his Loving Arms, even on the freeway!!
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Praise the Lord and Pass the Biscuits
WELL... I wrote yesterday about the house, and how many (few) people have looked at it since it went on the market. Well, yesterday morning the realtor showed the place to someone and that wonderful amazing person put in a bid, close to the asking price, and .... fingers crossed .... we are accepting it so may have sold it !!!!!
sigh.... What a big weight off my slumped shoulders. I don't know who says God does not listen and answer prayers, but I am a firm believer that he does and has.
If is always when I am low and look on the bright side that God is there saying... "See, I was here all along, you just had to ask for my help."
Yippee... and give me some honey for those biscuits!!!!
sigh.... What a big weight off my slumped shoulders. I don't know who says God does not listen and answer prayers, but I am a firm believer that he does and has.
If is always when I am low and look on the bright side that God is there saying... "See, I was here all along, you just had to ask for my help."
Yippee... and give me some honey for those biscuits!!!!
In His Faithful, Strong, "Everlasting" Loving Arms
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
House Woes
My house is in pre-foreclosure, due to a lot of things some of which I have mentioned in earlier posts. We (my soon-to-be-ex and I) have gotten with a realtor and have put the house on the market in hopes of selling before forclosing.
The realtor originally put the house on market, asking price of $225k which I believed was way too high. After about two weeks, given the state of the housing market right now, the realtor approched us with lowering the asking price to $189k. This is much more reasonable, and hopefully will help sell it faster.
There have not been many looky-loos yet, and I know this is because of the Christmas holiday and the horrible wet weather we have been having recently. I am starting to get a little down, but keep telling myself that God is guiding me and will not steer me wrong. I have always put my complete faith in Him, even with all the bad stuff happening.
I know that moving out of the house is going to be a difficult task. I hate to pack and so have started doing this a little bit-by-bit. I hate to clean and have not done much of that yet! but I know that time will come. I really have no choice but to move in with my Dad -- again -- at the prime age of 39. I don't know what I would do without him here to hold me up.
I have talked with him a little bit about the move. It depresses him so I don't mention it often, then he says that I don't ever tell him what's going on with my life, etc. so I really cant seem to win!!! I know that I will not be able to stay with him for a long period of time, though it actually would be good for him to have someone around, as he is getting older, more ill and depressed. I know that I can't stay with him for those very reasons, so that I can keep my sanity, and deal with my own depression healthily. When I told him that I will have to eventually find a place, probably in Sacramento, and move to town, he said "You're abandoning me." I told him that is not true, and then listed all the good things my living in town would bring me.
I would be closer to work, and could ride a bike if I had an apartment close enough. Living in town would save me 50 miles drive each day, and therefore about $250-400 in gas costs per month. I would be more likely to eat at home more, if I have a decent kitchen to cook in, and that I could get home to early enough in the day. Charlie would be living closer to school and could walk or ride bike to and from, saving him the wait after school for me to pick him up. I could do things with friends who live in town, who do not want to drive out to my "neck of the woods" because they have never been out of the city and think it is sooooo far to go.
There are a lot of good things that I have been thinking about that can be a result of selling the house and moving out. I hopefully will also have enough money to finally file and get the divorce that I have been putting off for a year now! and could pay off debts which are very outstanding!and I can help get Charlie braces for his horrible teeth (better late than never), and maybe even have enough left over for lasik surgery for me.
So, I am trying to stay positive in my thoughts and remind myself that I am always and forever...
The realtor originally put the house on market, asking price of $225k which I believed was way too high. After about two weeks, given the state of the housing market right now, the realtor approched us with lowering the asking price to $189k. This is much more reasonable, and hopefully will help sell it faster.
There have not been many looky-loos yet, and I know this is because of the Christmas holiday and the horrible wet weather we have been having recently. I am starting to get a little down, but keep telling myself that God is guiding me and will not steer me wrong. I have always put my complete faith in Him, even with all the bad stuff happening.
I know that moving out of the house is going to be a difficult task. I hate to pack and so have started doing this a little bit-by-bit. I hate to clean and have not done much of that yet! but I know that time will come. I really have no choice but to move in with my Dad -- again -- at the prime age of 39. I don't know what I would do without him here to hold me up.
I have talked with him a little bit about the move. It depresses him so I don't mention it often, then he says that I don't ever tell him what's going on with my life, etc. so I really cant seem to win!!! I know that I will not be able to stay with him for a long period of time, though it actually would be good for him to have someone around, as he is getting older, more ill and depressed. I know that I can't stay with him for those very reasons, so that I can keep my sanity, and deal with my own depression healthily. When I told him that I will have to eventually find a place, probably in Sacramento, and move to town, he said "You're abandoning me." I told him that is not true, and then listed all the good things my living in town would bring me.
I would be closer to work, and could ride a bike if I had an apartment close enough. Living in town would save me 50 miles drive each day, and therefore about $250-400 in gas costs per month. I would be more likely to eat at home more, if I have a decent kitchen to cook in, and that I could get home to early enough in the day. Charlie would be living closer to school and could walk or ride bike to and from, saving him the wait after school for me to pick him up. I could do things with friends who live in town, who do not want to drive out to my "neck of the woods" because they have never been out of the city and think it is sooooo far to go.
There are a lot of good things that I have been thinking about that can be a result of selling the house and moving out. I hopefully will also have enough money to finally file and get the divorce that I have been putting off for a year now! and could pay off debts which are very outstanding!and I can help get Charlie braces for his horrible teeth (better late than never), and maybe even have enough left over for lasik surgery for me.
So, I am trying to stay positive in my thoughts and remind myself that I am always and forever...
In His Loving Arms
Friday, December 16, 2005
In Lieu of Actual Blogging...
| You Have a Melancholic Temperament |
 Introspective and reflective, you think about everything and anything. You are a soft-hearted daydreamer. You long for your ideal life. You love silence and solitude. Everyday life is usually too chaotic for you. Given enough time alone, it's easy for you to find inner peace. You tend to be spiritual, having found your own meaning of life. Wise and patient, you can help people through difficult times. At your worst, you brood and sulk. Your negative thoughts can trap you. You are reserved and withdrawn. This makes it hard to connect to others. You tend to over think small things, making decisions difficult. |
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Blogging, left in the dust...
I have been swamped with life and have not had time to blog...
I couldn't even tell you what I have been doing, although I use to blog more during the times that I didnt have to get Charlie from school right after work. But I get off work at 4pm, and he gets out of school at 250pm, so I don't want to make him wait too much while I jot down my thoughts. Plus, I have been doing other things during my lunch break and other people have been using the computers when I have had time. It does not make for good blogging.
I really need to get a phone line and get connected to the internet at home again.
My home is in pre-forclosure, so am looking at possibly moving in with my dad for a while til I can get on my feet, unless something else comes along. At this point, something else does not look promising.
But, I must get back to work now.
I couldn't even tell you what I have been doing, although I use to blog more during the times that I didnt have to get Charlie from school right after work. But I get off work at 4pm, and he gets out of school at 250pm, so I don't want to make him wait too much while I jot down my thoughts. Plus, I have been doing other things during my lunch break and other people have been using the computers when I have had time. It does not make for good blogging.
I really need to get a phone line and get connected to the internet at home again.
My home is in pre-forclosure, so am looking at possibly moving in with my dad for a while til I can get on my feet, unless something else comes along. At this point, something else does not look promising.
But, I must get back to work now.
In Jesus' Loving Arms...
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Sniffle, Snuffle, Sneeze, Part 2
Well, I was off work again for a week. Same crap different days. This time I did go to the doctor. I let him know that I usually don't like to complain about my allergies, however this year they were worse than normal and that the Claritin is not working like usual. He gave me three options: (1) go to the allergist and get shots (nixed this as that is a pain in the arm and a general waste of time), (2) get a mess of medications to take, or (3) move to another part of the lovely U.S. of A. or another country!!
Moving is not an option, and as stated before NO to the allergy shots. So, that left the mess of medications. So, I have now been using an inhaler, nose spray, eye drops, and ointment. I have not had trouble with asthma for quite a long time, and don't want to have another serious attack, so have been using the meds faithfully.
The doctor also suggested, quite kindly that I should think about getting a nice family to adopt my dawg and kat! HAH! Let him know under no means will they be leaving my home other than in a box! He reminded me that they are a big part of my allergy troubles and I agreed with him, but let him know that they are my family and are not going anywhere, so there.
I was also reminded to get my flu shot, which I did immediately.
I went back to work today, hating every moment of it. My breathing is still a little labored, which makes it interesting talking with customers on the phone all day, but oh well. I will get better soon, I hope. Anyways, enough boring crap.
Moving is not an option, and as stated before NO to the allergy shots. So, that left the mess of medications. So, I have now been using an inhaler, nose spray, eye drops, and ointment. I have not had trouble with asthma for quite a long time, and don't want to have another serious attack, so have been using the meds faithfully.
The doctor also suggested, quite kindly that I should think about getting a nice family to adopt my dawg and kat! HAH! Let him know under no means will they be leaving my home other than in a box! He reminded me that they are a big part of my allergy troubles and I agreed with him, but let him know that they are my family and are not going anywhere, so there.
I was also reminded to get my flu shot, which I did immediately.
I went back to work today, hating every moment of it. My breathing is still a little labored, which makes it interesting talking with customers on the phone all day, but oh well. I will get better soon, I hope. Anyways, enough boring crap.
Blog on!.... in His Loving Arms....
Monday, October 31, 2005
Car
My car is not working any better than it was, only difference I notice is the tranny is a little less sluggish and don't smell the gas anymore. I have to change the distribution wires very soon because the engine is "missing" so am going to buy those after work today and change those tonight. That should help .
This Past Weekend
Well, here it is. Another Monday and that means another wasted weekend. I had a Women’s Council meeting on Saturday but because of the car troubles I had already cancelled going to that. It was a good thing too because Friday night I went to sleep at 10pm and did not wake up until Saturday Noon. It was not good sleep either. I had strange dreams that I can’t remember just bits and pieces. If you were to ask me about the dreams I would not be able to put any of it into words. This did not make for restful sleep at all.
Then when I did happen to finally roll out of bed I had one of the worst headaches ever. It felt like someone had jammed an ice-pick thru my skull and was wiggling it around, and around, and around. I did get into the shower and out, very gingerly, got dressed and made my way downstairs.
I knew there was no way I was going to be able to stitch with this head splitting ache, so ate a bowl of cereal (Franken-Berry!!!), and turned on the classic rock station. Then of all things I decided to shred some papers that had been piling up for about 10 months! It did not make the headache worse, and certainly did not improve it either.
I did that until about 3pm, then decided to do a load of laundry and went back upstairs. I got the laundry started at least, then decided to lay down after taking a couple more Tylenol…. Well, I slept until almost 7pm, and when I woke up was feeling a little better, so went over to my dad’s and was talked into going to KFC and Wal-Mart with him.
Sunday I felt a lot better and was able to go to church and function at a normal level. I even went home and cleaned out all the old food in the huge freezer. I had almost empty containers of ice cream (5 of them), plus an empty plastic gallon bucket of ice cream (why?), and assorted breads, fruits, nuts, and meat.. all freezer burned. I have about a layer of 3 inches of ice on all racks. Some time soon I will need to take the freezer outside and defrost it.
I went to Dad’s for dinner on Saturday – he had also been cleaning out his freezer and had a turkey to cook... so we had a preview of Thanksgiving. We watched the movie SNATCH also. It was a nice family dinner/afternoon gathering. My brother and his lady were there also.
Charlie has been with his father since Thursday evening. Beginning on Friday this week Sonny will be a resident of Placer County Jail for a few weeks for probation violation so they are trying to spend a lot of time together. I get to pick him up from his Grandma’s house this evening.
Otherwise it was a pretty good weekend!!! Got a little work done around the house: stuff thrown out of freezer, laundry (actually did finish all of it), and paper shredded; and had good family time with Dad and Bro on Sunday.
Then when I did happen to finally roll out of bed I had one of the worst headaches ever. It felt like someone had jammed an ice-pick thru my skull and was wiggling it around, and around, and around. I did get into the shower and out, very gingerly, got dressed and made my way downstairs.
I knew there was no way I was going to be able to stitch with this head splitting ache, so ate a bowl of cereal (Franken-Berry!!!), and turned on the classic rock station. Then of all things I decided to shred some papers that had been piling up for about 10 months! It did not make the headache worse, and certainly did not improve it either.
I did that until about 3pm, then decided to do a load of laundry and went back upstairs. I got the laundry started at least, then decided to lay down after taking a couple more Tylenol…. Well, I slept until almost 7pm, and when I woke up was feeling a little better, so went over to my dad’s and was talked into going to KFC and Wal-Mart with him.
Sunday I felt a lot better and was able to go to church and function at a normal level. I even went home and cleaned out all the old food in the huge freezer. I had almost empty containers of ice cream (5 of them), plus an empty plastic gallon bucket of ice cream (why?), and assorted breads, fruits, nuts, and meat.. all freezer burned. I have about a layer of 3 inches of ice on all racks. Some time soon I will need to take the freezer outside and defrost it.
I went to Dad’s for dinner on Saturday – he had also been cleaning out his freezer and had a turkey to cook... so we had a preview of Thanksgiving. We watched the movie SNATCH also. It was a nice family dinner/afternoon gathering. My brother and his lady were there also.
Charlie has been with his father since Thursday evening. Beginning on Friday this week Sonny will be a resident of Placer County Jail for a few weeks for probation violation so they are trying to spend a lot of time together. I get to pick him up from his Grandma’s house this evening.
Otherwise it was a pretty good weekend!!! Got a little work done around the house: stuff thrown out of freezer, laundry (actually did finish all of it), and paper shredded; and had good family time with Dad and Bro on Sunday.
In His Loving Arms,
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