Power Trip

This past weekend my son Charlie and I went to our church regional annual meeting in lovely Pacific Grove. This is a four hour (approx) drive from home with the various pit stops along the way. I am not a good driver, tending to fall asleep on even short drives, so I was not looking forward to the drive in the first place, but with no alternative what is one to do???

SO, with that being said, we were about 1 hr into the drive and just between Vacaville and Fairfield on highway 80... Charlie had been pretty good so far (he is 15) and we were listening to the radio. The Manfred Mann song "Blinded by the Light" came on, and that is one of my favorites, so I turned the radio up louder than it was. While the song music started Charlie said the first few words of the song, then exclaimed "I cant believe I knew that"... I nodded my head indicating that I heard him and keeps singing along.

Char then asked me to turn down the radio because he had something he wanted to say. This is a pattern of ours, a good song is on and he wants to talk. I kept singing, and motioned with my hand a sort of "later" motion. He kept insisting that I turn down the radio... so after a few moments I did turn the radio down and said in an exasperated manner "WHAT???" He got upset and clammed up and didnt say a word other than "nevermind"... well mind you that pissed me off, and HOW!! This is his little power trip, and I immediately got anger. Not just a little anger, but a total rage (not a good thing while driving). I glanced quickly in the rear-view mirror and pulled over to the side of the road, trying to be safe (I have been in an accident before doing this)... and yelling at Charlie to "get the **** out of the car -- NOW" ..
I have had it with this "game" of him wanting to say something and if I don't respond immediately he clams up and then is pissed at me. So, as I said, I was fuming, raging, pissed off, instantaneously. He would not get out of the car and I kept telling him to do so, and told him he can call his Dad on the cell phone and have him come and pick Char up on the side of the road if need be. Charlie still did not move, nor talk. I told him I just don't understand why he wants to say something then doesnt say it. It is not just a little thing with him, it is CONSTANTLY, and I am just fed up. I told him that I wanted this to be a good weekend and that I will have no tolerance for this game and that he needs to figure out right then and there if he will behave. He nodded YES, then I sat there for about 10 mins with the car off, trying to calm down my temper.

We got going again and I had turned the radio off, during which time Char did not talk at all. Not one word. Total Silence... Sigh... so then when we were just past Concord I decided to turn on the radio again. Not more than 5 seconds into the song Charlie started talking. This is what I mean by it being a game to him. He doesnt even realize it. I just had to start laughing.

I still don't understand him, I don't know if I ever will.

I think that is what God may say about me most of the time too... "I just don't understand that Michelle... what is she doing now!?!"

In Jesus' Loving Arms