Power Trip Part 2

You know, since I posted the last blog I have been thinking it over a lot. In so many ways I am much like Charlie is... stubborn, hard headed, quick to anger, quick to feel sorry for myself, opinionated.. aren't we all ?? and where do I think he gets it from? where do I get it from? probably from my dad?

Anyways, I was thinking about when I told Charlie to get out of the car, and call his dad to come and get him; that I was having none of the game playing. I pictured myself then as Charlie, and God as me. Thought about God telling me to get out of the car, stop the bs and to call my dad to come and get me (dad of course being GOD!)

I am not talking death or anything, just that sometimes I need my GOD/DAD to help me thru things, to guide me on the right path.. here i look and see i wrote "sometimes" rather than "ALWAYS" .. lol ... I just have a hard time letting GOD/DAD be part of my life -- ALL THE TIME.

I have really been struggling with letting God be a part of my life lately. I have been very tempted to just chuck it all, stop going to church, stop going to bible studies, stop going to regional church events, stop going to bunko, and just letting "the dark side" take over - letting Satan have control sometimes is the easy answer. I know that it is Satan tugging on my hand, whispering in my ear to let go of God, to give into the depression, to give into food/weight issues, to give into bad relationships, to give into a bad life.

I have made a every effort to not let go of God. I force myself to wake up on Sunday determined to go to church and hear God's message for me that day. I force myself to read Bible passages that can help me. I force myself to think positive thoughts. I force myself to take my medication. I force myself to go to functions that involve PEOPLE. I force myself to live each and every day, and it is a stuggle each and every day... but I will not let myself give up.

For this I give thanks to God and to his letting Jesus be my right hand man, and for giving the Holy Spirit to me to be present in my heart and my head.

Praise be to God.