sometimes i just want to quit

sometimes i just want to quit my job...
i hate it when customers yell at me for doing my job.
we are required to asked questions of the customer for authorization purposes... customer id, last four of social security, billed amount or last paid... something to let us know we are talking with an authorized party.
i just had a customer yell at me for asking the questions that i need to, in order to help him.
granted he keeps calling in, each call requires this information.
he yelled at me and asked for a supervisor.
then the supervisor seemed to act like "why could you not handle the customer"..
well... because he yelled at me to "GET A SUPERVISOR RIGHT NOW!"
i am not going to sit there and argue with the customer

so.. i am going to go home early, use more of my flex/vacation time... just can't handle it right now... so going to go home and sleep it off...

Work Re-location

Well, it has happened.

After 12 years in this building, they are moving us to a new location.

The building we are in was previously owned by the company that I work for. It was bought by a church a few years ago and we have since been leasing the space. The company that I work for has many buildings around the area and some of those spaces are sitting empty. So, it was logical to stop leasing the current space and move to a less expensive, company owned building.

It is going to be strange to go to a new place to work. Not only have I worked in this one building for 12 years, I had previously worked for an additional 4 years just down the street. I am very familiar and comfortable with the area. The bus system is fairly kind to me here. It will not be so kind at the new location.

The distance as the crows fly is not bad. However, being car-less it is a different situation with the regional transit system of this burg. I will have to take a bus from my apartments, get off at a light rail station. There I will board the train and go a couple stops up the road, and switch to another bus which will drop me off near the new job site.

The one way commute is about 1 hr long. I haven't even begun to figure out the return home route, but it will probably take about the same time.

The morning commute will start my day a full 35 minutes earlier than my current situation and gives me only a 10 minute leeway arriving to the last busy stop. I don't know how long it will take to walk to the building, but I am guessing it will take a couple minutes. I can only pray that I do not have days with delays.

I had been thinking of moving sometime towards the end of summer. My lease is up in November and I definitely do not want to renew it. They raised my rent last November $60/month and I am barely scraping by. I was hoping to move to the downtown/Grid area but now am going to focus more to the Carmichael/Arden/Fair Oaks area. I hope the rent prices are reasonable. If I am lucky I can get a location which has an easy commute. Maybe even bike ride distance again?!?

Yeah, I know, I haven't thought of the bike in a long while but have been thinking about it again, especially with the move coming up.

But, I have faith that all things work out for the best.

As always, in His Loving Arms

Happy Pill

I had a customer today who gave me the best compliment. Probably the nicest thing anyone has said in a long while. It was about the 2nd to last call of the day, and when I was done talking with the customer he said "What is it with you people... " I thought for sure that he was going to make a complaint about something or another. Then he continues "... do you all take happy pills? I have had wonderful customer service with everyone I have talked to about my service. That is such a nice thing these days."

I started laughing in pleasure. I told him that was the nicest thing anyone has said to me in a long time, and that I was very happy to help him. It sure made my day!

In His loving arms.

Slip Sliding, Again...

I am on a slippery slope, on the downhill side of it, depression-wise anyways.

Currently, I am at work. I like my job. I like when I have people around me that I can talk with. I don’t like it when they all leave and I am here alone, hearing the conversations of everyone around me. What I really hate is having a supervisor who rarely, rarely, acknowledges me, but seems to talk with everyone else.

There are days that I go without even talking with her. Certainly days when if I do not purposely go and speak with her that I would otherwise not talk with her, or really know that she was here… except that I can hear her voice over all the others.

It really, really bothers me when she sends out a commendation for another associate. It does not bother me that others are noticed for their good work, and when a customer goes out of his/her way to praise someone who helps them they should be singled out and given a “good job” pat on the head.

It bothers me because on two occasions that I know of I have had customers give me a commendation, yet I have received no “good job” pat on the head. This pat usually comes in the form of an email to the entire work group and/or a paper certificate that can be proudly displayed.
I have received neither for these two calls that I busted my hump over.

I am not one to ask the customer to praise me like some of my co-workers. I usually say “thanks, glad I could help” and then that is the end of the conversation. I know others say “thanks, let me get you my supervisor” then transfer the customer or give the supervisors email, etc.

I don’t mean to sound petty, and I know I am. It is not like I have not been acknowledged in other ways at work, but I would like notice to be given to me, based on my customer feedback.

My workplace has awarded me on quite a few occasions for being a hard worker, having pride in my job, handling tough customers, quality of service. It just somehow means more when it is a customer commendation, rather than a supervisor or peer commendation. Well, maybe not more, but it feels different.

It has been noticed by even the center manager that I am excelling at my job; a job that he told me that I was not qualified for, just a little more than 6 months ago.

On another note: my son will turn 18 in June. I am starting to really feel lonely about that, even though he basically does not live with me now. I am starting to feel panic at the thought that he will be “an adult,” he reminded me that he will be able to vote in November for the presidential race. He will have to sign up for the draft. I am worried about his job prospects, school, life beyond high school, money management skills or lack thereof. How is he going to survive out there in the real world; or, is he going to live with mom or dad forever? Or, move out and back in multitudes of times like I have had to do with my dad.

I have been wondering if my dad went through the same feelings that I am feeling. I remember myself at my son’s age and I was so much more mature than he is, but I was still my fathers child, and I am sure he felt some of the things that I feel. Hell, he still feels for me and worries about me. That is a “from the beginning of time” type of bond, parent/child.

Then I am also thinking about “what will happen” … to me when my dad dies and I am left to fend for myself. I have always thought of myself as independent, but I am not. I know that now. If I could just get back one percent of the confidence I had about my life when I was 16, then I would be ok.

In HIS loving arms…

In-opportune Opportunity

I had a wonderful opportunity arise this past week, which I had to turn down.

Heather said she is looking to move, knows of a duplex that is in a nice neighborhood, but the rent would be $1200, and she needs to have a housemate. Currently my rent for my apartment is $929 per month, so $600 a month would be real nice. Seems like a slam-dunk in decisions, but of course, nothing is that simple.

It’s a three bedroom duplex, with her sister living next door. It has been recently fixed up and looks “awesome.” The third room the boys would share, she has her son part of the week, and my son is with me only occasionally lately. We both have a cat each. So, what more could I want?

I just signed a year lease for my apartment on Oct 31st. While this could pose a problem, it would be worth the monetary damages in the long run. That was my first, slight concern. Saving $329 per month on rent would be nice. I would be able to get some bills paid off that really, really need to be paid. I would be able to get cable, internet, etc. I would be able to “save” some??

My next concern was packing and moving. I hate it, hate it, hate it… don’t really know anyone who likes it, likes it, likes it. I still have a lot of the “stuff” packed and sitting around, so most would just have to be hauled away, either to the new place or the dump/trash. I know the adage that if you haven’t used it in a year, you really don’t need it. I should get rid of it, but you know – it is MY STUFF, whether or not I NEED it or not. I was telling Heather that I just have “so much stuff” – she said, “that’s good, I only have the 2 beds, clothing and not much else” or something to that effect.

The big problem is Charlie. He has another 6 month of school, and basically uses my apartment as a crash pad after school. Most days he goes to his fathers, dad picks him up from my place usually before I get home. But it is very convenient, just a couple blocks from school. If I moved he would have to take first 1 bus to the light rail station, then the train to the end of the line, then another bus from there to his dad’s apartment. He would be on the bus from 3 – 4:15 or so, which would get him to his dad’s place about 30 minutes before dad gets home.

Charlie still takes naps some days because he gets home from school exhausted. He generally uses his time at my house to eat (doesn’t eat at school during the day), rest, watch TV, basically chill out before doing homework. If he rode the bus for an hour and a half each day he would not get this relaxation time that he really needs. This change in his routine would be very hard for him to adjust to, not to mention the harm it would cause to his school-work.

I took a while to think and pray about this and then I had to make one of the hardest decisions. I had to say no to Heather.

Sometimes life just sucks...

Suck #1 --
Yesterday I rode the bus to work because I attend Taize prayer services at St Francis Catholic Church (26th & K) and I didnt want to ride home then quickly get to the bus to get to the church on time... I was able to get a friend to drive me from work to 4th and J where I was meeting Charlie and taking the next bus to the church. We got home around 830 and I found that my bike had a flat tire and would not hold air... again... so, today I again rode the bus.

Suck #2 -- I was told last week that my car (broken and dead) in the parking lot of my work since October, needs to be moved within this week. I haven't contacted any one about it yet and when I went to the car found that it would not turn over, battery is DEAD.

Suck #3 -- While opening the car found a couple of wasp/hornet/yellow-jacket nests in 1. the frame of the drivers door, and 2. the engine area.

Suck #4 -- BEING DUMB and trying to remove the nests with a twig, a very very short and flimsy twig.

Suck #5 -- Being stung by one of the little buggers on my wrist, not once as I originally thought, but twice; looks a little like a vampire attacked my wrists.

Good #1 -- Not allergic to said bites !!! like my father and brother are... can I say an AMEN?!? Yes, I can.. AMEN!!!

Suck #6 -- Being passed over for a new work group at my job. I am on an attendance warning, and tho 5-6 people who were chosen are also on warning, I have more seniority than any of them, and I have not gotten a good excuse why I was not chosen. If they can explain it to me, I would accept it but they are hemming and hawwing and not answering the question... other than that they had their CRITERIA and I didnt fit it. So, I say let me know the criteria so that I can IMPROVE myself.. no answer to that yet either.

Good #2 -- Charlie turns 17 !!!! TOMORROW I am going to surprise him with a great birthday trip. We are going to be up and on a Bus by 6a.m, then Amtrak to Santa Clara and we are going to GREAT AMERICA!

PLEASE GOD PROVIDE ME WITH STRENGTH, PATIENCE AND CALM, I am really in need of these right now...

IN HIS LOVING ARMS ALWAYS, EVEN WHEN LIFE SUCKS!!!

Friends or Not??

I always have questions going thru my brain about who is my friend and who is not. I know it sounds a bit juvenile but there it is. I tell myself that things like that really do not matter, but you know what? THEY DO.

I work in a call center and talk to hundreds of people a week and it amazes me how many people do not have anyone they feel they can turn to, to ask a favor.

So, I put myself in that postion.

• If I need to borrow a cup of sugar.. who would I call?
• If I need to borrow a car...who would I call?
• If I need to cry on a shoulder... who would I call?
• If I need a ride to the doctor, or store, or just home on a pouring down rain day... who would I call?

That then leads into the question... If I call, would they come? **Similar to the "If you build it, they will come"**

Then there is the question of, if they are my friend, and know I need something, would they just offer without my asking?

I bring all this up because the past couple days have been rainy. Monday it was raning in the morning and beautiful when I left work. I was a bit wet when I arrived to work, that was ok. I didn't mind the wait for the bus in the afternoon because it was gorgeous. Yesterday, Tuesday, it was nice in the morning, and POURING when I left work. I don't like to ask for a ride too often, and the people I usually would ask have recently shown they are friends/acquantances, but not friend/friends...

So, I was waiting to see if either one would think to say... Gee it is pouring, I should see if Michelle needs a ride home today. Neither offered, and both drove by me as I was walking in the downpour to the bus stop.

So.... there I am with this question going thru my brain...

40th Birthday

Sunday I turned 40... this has been a traumatic year for me and I was really NOT happy to be 40... never have I felt so traumatized by a year, and I have always felt people who worry about their age to be, well, truthfully... STUPID. or at least crazy!!~

So, it was with a great deal of trepidation that I approached the dreaded day. Thursday a couple of my co-workers decorated my desk (last year it was done after my birthday) and I was pleased. Friday, two other co-workers gave me gifts... things they had in their desks, re-gifting -- but that they though to give me something almost makes me cry, even while I am writing this tears are forming... one gift was three beautiful bracelets, and the other is a Kings lapel pin...

Friday night Ginger and I went to Girls Night Out at Table of Grace church in Elk Grove and had a great night of fellowship, and meeting new people

Saturday my son fixed my bike so that I can ride it to work if I feel like it, and he had to do it twice because the first time he pumped the tires up too much and one burst. He went to Walmart twice for me... then we went riding in the dark, after he replaced the tube for the 2nd time.

My dad surprised me at church by showing up. We had arranged to go to lunch after church, he said he had to read scripture at Fairview, and I was joing FCC Sacramento. He got to FCC before church to surprise me and spend the day together. We went to Red Lobster and had lunch and he took me to the store to stock up on things that I cant buy/carry from the corner store.

I had a really good Birthday... and the sky did not fall!

In His Loving Arms